


Inhale

by racoongod



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Feelings, Friendship, Losing Control, M/M, Panic Attack, but be warned, inner processes, it's not very explicit, josh keeps Tyler sane, joshler - Freeform, recovering from a panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 13:03:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11275845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/racoongod/pseuds/racoongod
Summary: "Tyler lifted his head to look at Josh, his eyes terrified. His skin has turned red on his neck, wearing dangerously thin under his fingers."Tyler has a bad episode. Luckily, Josh is there for him.





	Inhale

**Author's Note:**

> Please be advised that it is described how a panic attack feels like (based on my experience). Take care if you're sensitive to this kind of stuff.

-What? – Josh asked – Why did you stop?

Tyler was standing a few steps behind him staring at the ground. He did not answer, nor did he move. It was his eyes only that started to widen.

-Are you okay? – Josh stepped a bit closer searching for a clue. Now he was able to see that Tyler’s hands were twitching slightly.  – Tyler…?

Tyler slowly reached up as if afraid he would regret the movement. He whispered something Josh couldn’t hear while rubbing his throat with his fingers. – Tyler??

Tyler lifted his head to look at Josh, his eyes terrified. His skin has turned red on his neck, wearing dangerously thin under his fingers.

-The air… - he said with a broken voice – it’s starting to feel so thin…

His hands crawled up on the side of his head. Inch by inch. The shaking more noticeable.

Josh jumped startled as Tyler screamed out, dropping to his knees – I CAN’T BREATHE!!!

-Tyler!

His hands were grabbing onto his scalp, fingers curling and clawing into his skin. His whole body was shaking as he yelled out again. With eyes shut tight he couldn’t see the flock of birds fleeing the nearby trees; with a mind louder than the wildest thunder he couldn’t hear the echo of the sudden crack in his own cry, quickly swallowed by the forest. Only the deafening silence remained. He was becoming dizzy from panting violently.  Suddenly he felt something gentle and warm on his wrists. Somehow a whisper reached him.

-Give me your hands - Josh was kneeling in front of him.

It almost seemed like Tyler didn’t hear it, but his fingers loosened slightly, just enough that they didn’t pull out any hair when Josh carefully took the shaky palms. He laid them flat on top of his thighs where they don’t have anything to clutch onto and have a chance to relax. He rubbed calming circles on the back of Tyler’s hands.

-Look at me, Tyler – he murmured and waited for the twitchy head to lift. His eyes met the unfocused hazel pair that struggled to stay open.  – See, I’m right here. It’s okay… - The words sounded like they were coming from under thick blankets, Tyler’s head was still filled with static. He certainly did not catch the break in Josh’s voice at the end.

Tyler desperately tried to focus with his eyes, but reality seemed far, further than anything he was able to sense in that moment. A moment that lasted for a painful eternity. But he cannot slip away, no. He cannot lose contact.

 - Breathe with me, Tyler. Inhale…

A choking sound escaped Tyler’s throat when he tried to slow down his disorganised gasps too quickly. A pained grimace flashed through his face, but it wasn’t caused by something physical. The storm inside his head and the dullness in the very core of his chest were too overwhelming for that. No, it was the result of the defeat, his failure to control his own body, even in something so simple.

\- Exhale…

Josh’s gaze was fixed on Tyler’s eyes that fluttered shut from time to time. He watched closely, while blowing out the air from his lungs until they were empty. The shortest moment, when he has given everything out and he’s unable to squeeze his ribcage any tighter, that is when he can feel the weight of the world, coming down on his shoulders. But soon he is free again:

Inhale.

Tyler tried again. This time he managed to take more in. The twitches in his body are beginning to subside. The thick covers he is hiding under are lifted layer by layer. Is that a bird singing?  The numbness is slowly recoiling from the tip of his fingers and he’s starting to feel the gentle thumbs against the skin of his hands.  Are they shaking too?

Exhale.

Josh took great care to keep his own breathing as even as possible while allowing Tyler to adjust. He watched as the hazel eyes searched his face as their vision seemed to be coming back to normal, when suddenly…

INHALE

Tyler filled his lungs as much as he could. He gasped as he eagerly took in oxygen again feeling it run through his entire body. All he could see was warm brown eyes, fixed on his. He was desperately holding on to them, their warmth helped him break to the surface, grasp reality and keep him sane in his moment of insanity. There was something present he couldn’t explain but feel only, something powerful.  He never broke contact; he wouldn’t have been able to breathe out slowly if he did. His chest was resisting but he filled his lungs again, his physical with oxygen, his mental with the feeling. He wasn’t alone anymore.

His senses came back slowly and he was there again in the woods with aching knees in front of Josh, who was still watching him closely. Tyler noticed the worry in the brown eyes, so he sent a weak smile to them. He saw relief flush over Josh’s face as he closed those eyes for a few seconds before smiling back reassuringly. Birds were returning to the trees to continue their songs where they had left off.

It was the first time Josh had seen Tyler have a panic attack.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking of writing a longer story based on this, so let me know what you think about that.


End file.
